ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
