I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
