I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize