New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
