you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
