I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
