This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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