he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Randomize
