He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Randomize
