ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
