i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize