I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
i out mim tonsoeep
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
