ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
