What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
