We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
i think i just lost a toe
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize