I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
