Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Randomize
