You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
