I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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