I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
