i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
