Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
honey bunches of taint.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
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