i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Randomize
