are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
