i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
