who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
the liver wants what the liver wants
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
