feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
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