Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
