How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Randomize
