Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
