You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Randomize
