Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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