i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
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