i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
soo... how was my night?
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