He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I need to align my fucking chakras
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
