Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
