We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
