New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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