Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
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