I swear she didn't look like that last week.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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