I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
