I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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