I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize