I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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