Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
