Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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