we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
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