The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
We have started to decorate penises.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Randomize
