I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Randomize
