am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
