Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
What did we do last night that was yellow?
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
