i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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