Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
