It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
