pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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