tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
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