There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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