Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
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