U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
