Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
