if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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