just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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