so that wasnt chicken after all
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Randomize
