david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize