god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
I skipped work to stalk him.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
