Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
