have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
